What Are You Saying?

In the world of communication, getting your message across is as much WHAT you say as HOW you say it. In fact, the latter may be more important. For example, let's say you have an empty bottle, a full bladder, and a meeting. What makes more sense to say?

1) I'm going to fill my water bottle, use the restroom, and go to the meeting.
OR
2) I'm going to the meeting, after I use the restroom and fill my bottle.

Many, many, far-too-many people are clinically annoying in how they speak, and when they decide to pipe up. Read the comments section of any local news story in an on-line news site. The internet has given people who have - and some who have not - clamored for years to be heard! To be SEEN! To have their existence made known to dozens of strangers who will eventually refer to their FaceSpace profiles before hiring them and cause the hire-er to wonder "Who is this dipsh*t, and why are they always making hand gestures with the hand NOT holding a cocktail?"

I am always delving into my mind and the works of the great cartoonists to find new ways to speak, to communicate, to express what it is that buts a burr in my figurative butt.

So as we get closer to the end of your life, and mine, please take into account a few important quotes about speaking:

A wise man speaks because he has something to say; a fool because he has to say something. -Plato

That's all I ever needed to know.

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Interview Review

I had an interview yesterday for a job I think I'll be really great for. It's been a while since I had an in-person 'view, having a number of phoners and chit-chats in the past year. And the past year has been "interesting" in that "hey, that's an interesting choice of fishnet shorts, sir." Plus, the economy in California appears to be run entirely by mismanaged healthcare conglomerates and DirecTV.

So, from my interview yesterday there were a few areas I think I could have better-represented myself. In the event that the teammembers I talked with are reading my blog - yes, now and then a potential employer will check in on candidates to make sure they aren't leading their meat-alternative lifestyle in an overly-aggressive manner - HERE IS WHAT I MEANT TO TELL YOU when we spoke of these issues.

1) DEADLINES! You asked what I would do if a number of Exec's came to me with simultaneous requests and delivery times. What I really should have highlighted was that I would inquire among the team for bandwidth, as to who could help me out so I can properly deliver on the ask. And make sure I share credit across the board. I don't know why I said "Do a spit-take and flip the bird." That's ridiculous, and the wrong time to go for a laugh. The next day I would surely reward my teammates with cookies.

2) TIME ON THE JOB! I do feel I answered truthfully to the portion of why I hadn't been in a particular job for too long in the past 4 years. Working On-Contract in the Northwest is pretty common, and those contracts with some large software companies help ensure the employed aren't taken advantage of, nor get any real momentum nor continuity. Phew! And moving to (and back from) California is an experience I wouldn't trade for the world. But I also didn't really touch on the fact that I and my family are intent on remaining in the area for quite some time. I am attached to this area, want to raise a family here, have some goals about involvement in the community. Most importantly, my dreams are dead now, so that'll really be the compost to feed the roots taking hold here... yep.

3) PUBLIC KITCHEN USE! I'm no fan of any common area that allows a person to microwave any sort of fish meal. It's wrong. To keep that from happening, all of my meals will be eaten cold, at my desk, in under 12 minutes. AND I BRING IN COOKIES THAT THE TEAM GETS FIRST CRACK AT, before releasing broken ones to the vultures in the kitchen area. Real cookies. Chocolate-laden. None of that Raisin-chunk, store-bought Horse-S people try and pass off as a "friendship offering."

Okay, so hopefully they got all that. I'm a good hire, a good guy, and not involved in any Fantasy Sports this year. Bigger fish to scale. Let's do this, because I have the skills, and a calendar with nothing on it until Memorial Day.

COOKIES.

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Be Your Own, Anonymous Person

Sure as I am that many articles, blogs, and pr0n-spam links have been made about this, I would like to weigh-in on an issue that affects us all when it comes to the use of the Internet.

Our Constitution (for Americans only, I hope) has a number of Amendments, which is to say, the first go-round didn't quite get it all. One of those Amendments is the First one. Luckily, it's the most important one in a society full of people who our Forefathers thought would be smarter than they are. It guarantees our Freedom to Speak, Print, and Worship. Not sure how those all tie in to each other, but ink was pricey then and if you can't tell somebody to read the Bible, what's the use of stealing one from a Hotel?

So we've got this far now into the Web2.0 thing, wherein WE are the contributors of content. This blog, that goat-fighting video, keyboard cat, CHICKEN TETRAZZIIIINI, and your video that nobody was supposed to see.

Oh... who's a pretty little Thai Schoolgirl NOW?

And in the Cyberscape we can often become anybody we want to, and live anonymously, vicariously, and usually, slovenly. And we contribute what it is we (think?) the world wants to hear from us. Or, more narcisistically, what WE want the world to know about us. These plops fall into 5 categories:

1) Boring
2) Pointless
3) Profane
4) A link to some sort of hole
5) Something enraging the easily-enraged shut-in

So yeah, the 'nets full of nobodies. If I were really poppin', I wouldn't be cheek-liftin' blogs out this monster for nobody. Love for my readers, always always. But hey, if I had my druthers, I'd be inaccessible 40 weeks a year. Until then, send me a drink in MafiaWars. Nobody talks anymore...

To prove it, here's a cam pic of me writing this blog.

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Customer Disservice - DirecTV & Costco

Hey, DirecTV...
When your tech installs a dish outside of my neighbor's balcony, instead of on top of the building where we said it would go...
and I have to make 3 phone calls to get it fixed...
and the 3rd person tells me there's a fee...
for the F'up of one of your employees...

and you tell me that the fee is due to a "cosmetic change" instead of one where there's no signal...

I really think you should know that I'm going to tell everyone about it.
There are other options that don't require drilling into the roof and F'ing with my relationships in the neighborhood.

If you have any problems with DirecTV, you're not alone. They are saying there's a $50 fee to move the dish... in this weather, it's almost worth it. News as news warrants.

==========
Hey, Costco...

A few months ago I wrote about how some of your door-greetin', customer-countin' employees dissed me a bit. Hey, we all have bad days, but that's not how I would expect to be treated at a place that I HAVE TO PAY TO SHOP AT...
and I sent that letter to the Corporate Office...
and the Corporate Office had the local manager call me...
and the local manager had moved, so his replacement called me...
and the local replacement only kinda had an idea of what was going on...
and I recounted the incident with the local manager touching on the points that...
1) Many stores are discounting prices in this economy
2) Many stores don't have greeters to pay to act like they have actual power
3) I can go to many stores where I do NOT have to pay a membership fee and be treated just as poorly

and after recounting these for the local replacement manager, Costco, you'd be happy to know that he went the "EXTRA STEP!" or "Bulk Happy Purchase!"...

and agreed with me on all points.

Fantastic. I am happy to know that you know that we BOTH know you can do a better job.

And I apologize for thinking you'd be able to do any of the following to keep me from telling everyone about what you did...
1) Refund my membership fee and allow me to keep my membership. Perhaps you can't afford it. Not a lot of pallets of Pomegranate Acai Facial Beads moving right now.
2) Throw me a half-gross of diapers. Kid's poopin' his way into a community college.
3) Upgrade me to the Gold Star Corporate Early Entry SuperLube program.
4) My own sample station... nobody but I get to eat from it.

So, just some idears. Think it over next time somebody with nothing better to do may get shut down by your front line.
Costco CANNOT have the Basic members mingling with the reeeeally old people buying more food than they can finish, but will have plenty for the wake.

===================
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Blow Me Down

The Pacific Northwest has a broad spectrum of weather, getting both arms around - and both cheeks into - every season. Icy, snowy Springs. Sunny, drizzly Winters. Summers that last only 7 weeks but have temps in the low 100s. And the WIND, oh yes... Mother Nature's Howl.

Recently, while Wife and Son and I were in Culver City there was a really hefty wind-storm. Not a storm just by Los Angeles standards that gusted up to 18mph and threw cigarette ashes all over the back seat of the TT. The kind where, if you were walking home from the bus stop, your legs were being blown into each other and almost tripping you, and you freaked out because normally you can handle that much NightTrain on a 20minute bus ride. Also, you realized that the lights all along the block, up to the Lee SuperLiquor! bodega, were out. HEAVY BLOWIN'. (that oughtta get some more hits to the page)

Power was out for about 3 hours that night. We ordered Italian food from Ugo. It was quality bites. I highly recommend Sun-dried tomatoes and smoked mozzarella on a sammitch. The next day I was driving to work and was on Venice Blvd. A tree had been blown over in the wind, and the branches and leaves and top-half of the trunk were passed out... excuse me... flopped down into the far-left lane. A traffic cone had been placed 50 feet ahead of it to let people know, "YO... we'll get to it!"

The city of Los Angeles has red light cameras all over the place, but not enough to drive revenue from the incredible number of red-light runners (2-per, from my count). A 1-hour rain will flood the streets. The buckling roadways are ground-down and patched-over. Perfectly good comedians are getting shunned for spots at the A-clubs, while horrid hosts with barely 9 minutes of masturmaterial get half-hours on Comedy Central because of their management team. BAD, bad, bad infrastructure.

So that tree, the broken & blocking one, lay there for 2 days before somebody in a city truck came to get it. Sunny weather, clear skies, dry roads. No city utility worker available to clear the roadway. For 2 days.

Last night up on Juanita Drive & 163rd, a tree blew down and knocked power out to Juanita-like areas. The crews were up there this morning getting it handled.

4 weeks ago I had to call the city office in LA about a health inspection. I got a call back TODAY. Thank you, Los Angeles. You proved your point.



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Beggars Can't Be Choosers

FaceBook, Twitter, Blogs, MySpace, and the Taylor Swift FanFiction Forum... all of these are places for you to hang it out there. Call it "Social Networking." Call it "Vanity Web." Call it "Time Wasted." It's a self-paparazz'ing to show off what you gots to show... and it turns many of us into gawking lurkers from the privacy of our Snuggie.

You only have to give as much as you choose on these sites. You need not say everything. Better for you that you don't, unless you're trying to "create a buzz." At that point, fire away.

But do not say you're not going to be on FaceBook for a week while recovering from surgery, and then NOT tell everyone what you're going to have cut off and replaced with Stretch Armstrong doll. You can't ask for attention and then gripe about the kind of attention you get.

Follow me on Twitter at www.twitter.com/GLRules !

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Los Angeles Redux

You wanna know about LA?
You wanna get in the cage with the Beautiful Beast and throw elbows with love?
Do you have what it takes to hone your craft and watch some bimbo get a golden ticket and leapfrog over you because she's more marketable, and then she goes on the road for a year and all she can come up with is 8 new minutes on drinking?

EVERYTHING you need to know about Los Angeles in 2.5 minutes.





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